I found the 4 pages worth scribbles.
This is done on Wednesday.
Nothing interesting but I thought why not just type it down.
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Wednesday..4.15pm plus.

"Sitting @ PS Yoshinoya now.Waiting for the thrid interview.
The 1st one was a let down.It seemed like I'm the one interviewing them instead.Blah!
The 2nd one deals with one of the industries that I preferred not to work in ---Insurance.
Dont ask me why and how.

Listening to Wendi Koh's(our own talented singer) version of "Emotions" now.
Quite a splendid performance @ Esplanade by the Bay.
She,together with Catherine and Ruth,sang quite a beautiful "Emotion" that won't lose to
Destiny's Childs.
I like their version of "Somewhere only we know" or...something like that. That's Keane's song.
But still I preferred Keane's lazy and effortless voice that makes the song sound so right.

Beside me sat a seconday scool couple.(Making me feel more lonesome inthis shipping mall.Desperately wish that someone would keep me occupied by msging/calling me.I'm a passive though....)

That secondary school boy would be someone I would be proud to call boyfriend if I were their age. Quite good looking,sunshine beach boy type. Seems lazy and cheeky.And just the way he keeps looking at the girl is so cute.(Throws a side glance,that gal looks kinda plain to me though.But no issue on that!Nope!)

Secondary times....It really do feel like y'day that I stepped outta there.Begin Poly,adapting to it,fell in love with the life,the friends there.(not much of the studies though.)

Outta Poly,recognizing my role and responsiblities,I head to join the society of the 'ind-uhviduals' immediately.

Fortunate enough to find a job within a month,it was a chaotic one.Long distance,low pay,long hours(till the wee.)
Created alot of...."knots" there.
Had the wrong people confessing to me.
I was surprised,was young,was not interested in those,was attached but still there is one thing that I did wrong.
Dont let your imagination runs.Nothing.Nothing happened.
Let bygones be bygones.
Drink up!

A month later I was outta there.That company is a cheat!

2 weeks later I landed myself in another level of hell.
Something related to my major but not one I fancied.But I settle for it anyway,thinking I can conquered it.
Which I did.But it were the environment and the people there that made me sick,really sick!

It doesnt help that misfortune happened to my family that time.
Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise.It too gave me a excuse to quit.

To hear compliments from my supervisor was flattering but I still loathed her.
She tortured me like a cat would do to a mouse.(I have no idea what a cat would do to a mouse before eating up though.It's just an analogy.)

A good time to quit.A good time to rest my confused soul,my jaded mind.A good time to spend with Jason with his enlistment then.

Blah..blah...

I got to Seraya afterwards.It was by far the best place I been to.Straight KO time is a bonus!Easy time there.Extremely nice pple there.(i'm not really talking about Bert aka Eddie though. ;p)

Now..I am definitely twice the person I was.Bolder,more confident,positive-r,but somewhat lonlier.

It has nothing to do witht he no of friends I have,how close or how well I know pple.

It's like....I dunno if you can relate to this.
The older you get...Um..No,not really..doesnt have to do with figures.

The better you are able to recognize the responsiblity that you placed on your shoulders,the stronger and independent that you have to make yourself grow.

At times..dont you just wish to drop everything down and cry like you want to?
I do...sometimes.I can always feel that a side of me is always crying...always tearing in a corner.

Sometimes I wondered am I just using words to illustrate my world,which can be untrue sometimes?Hey man...I dunno.I just know that I am penning what I truely felt now.

Back to what I am saying,sometimes you just feel alone in this world.Like I said,it doesnt have to do with the amt of friends,family,attached or not and so.

Firstly I seldom would reveal any difficulties/problems to my family.I don't (like) give them problems but I take prob from them,so formed my responsibilties.Aint fully capable of that yet...shame to say.

Friends,bf,gf are individuals of them own.

Ted.W.Engstrom said,"Dont broadcast personal problems.It probably wont help you,and it cannot help others."
True?Something are meant to be shared,but I always thought that solutions have to be self derived and executed.
Agree?No?

"Noone is an (solo) island itself." is another saying.I agree too.But sometimes I just think we feel like a stand alone iceberg that drifts in...North Pole.

Looks liek God really made us in halves.Without someone else by your side,you do feel lonely.
Aitn referring to your significant other necessary.Could be a friend, a confidante,a dog,cat,bird firsh,tortise(blah!) or even a beautiful stranger.

(Hello stranger.)

I just wonder...another year down the road...what will I be thinking.

Tell me about it.